Flashing Lights
This post is from Early October 2021. Another day, another quarter edible. Someone in one of my chats texted saying edibles are her coping mechanism and I felt that hard. I’m laid down (up, out?) on my couch looking up at the ceiling lights. They look like fireworks, dandelions, bright, flashing lights. See them in today’s post pic!
It was another hard day at work navigating a chaotic, consistently dysregulating environment. Everything there is problematic and confusing as hell. By the time I get home my energy is sapped. Because of the day but also because I spent my walk home ranting on the phone to a homegirl or family member. I’m probably emotionally dumping, which needs to stop. It’s not fair to them. The second I get through my door; I look for ways to take care of myself and love on myself. Good music, good food, and, sometimes, an edible.
Speaking of which, I finished my pack of edible cookies today and I’m sentimental. This was my first weed purchase. I thanked the empty package for the great times and tossed it. There were some crumbs in there that I was going to gobble up before remembering that they could fuck me up. The last quarter cookie said, “you’re welcome” and immediately hit my system. Now I’m sitting here on my couch, under a nice blanket, writing and feeling grounded. Feeling calmer.
What else makes me feel better after a rough day? Black content. Black people are balm. We suffer so much but still manage to be the source of brightness, reinvention, laughter, creativity, love. Things we need at all times. Ya’ll remember Ashton Sanders seeing Denzel Washington on the red carpet before playing a movie with him? Heart warming. “I’ll see you at work.” So wholesome. If you’ve got time, you should look up Denzel and Pauletta Washington videos. They both look like they wake up in the morning singing Lady Wray’s “Thank you.” Btw, I’m mostly guessing on the punctuation in this blog. Be easy on me. Same with the grammar.
I just realized I’ve been sitting cross-legged for a minute now and moved out of that position with a quickness. My joints be hella high too and think that I’m flexible all of the sudden. My body tells me stories of this in the morning when I’m aching all over and wonder what happened. Dumb Love by Neil Frances got me bopping my head as stories swirl inside of my mind while I stare into space. That cookie really showed out.
Today I end this post by offering the brightness, reinvention, laughter, creativity, and the love you have been giving me.
Tonights Soundtrack
