Shower Thoughts
Greetings to y’all.
Sometime in August 2021, which is when this was written, I had an amazing thought while high in the shower: create a blog called Diary of a High African Daughter. I, of course, would have to remain anonymous but this idea is solid.
It all started after I had a quarter of an M&M cookie edible then hopped in the shower once the vibes kicked in. I’ll admit, this was a good idea creatively but not environmentally.
At first, I enjoyed every drop of water that came out of the shower head. I had Leon Bridges’ latest album on, and I was singing and slowly spin dancing, having the performance of a lifetime. Then, suddenly, a larger than life drop of water hit me in the front of my braid-heavy shower cap, scaring the shit out of me. That drop felt too big to ignore so I looked around, inspecting the shower head and everything in the shower. I managed to calm down after telling myself it was just a weird splash of water that hit me at a funny angle while I was spinning around.
This killed my vibe so I got to the purpose of the shower, and scrubbed my body thoroughly, making sure to focus on each section. I rubbed exfoliator on my face and felt the little dirt particles come off then stopped when my skin started to get irritated. After some more dancing, my pruny ass got out of the shower. I dried off and switched to Snoh Aalegra after putting some cookies in the oven and using the microwave as a 10-minute timer. Like I turned it on to heat nothing for 10 minutes. Not the smartest move but made sense at the time.
I lotioned every part of my body that felt dry, hung up my towel, and remembered the funny thing I wanted to blog about. It is the reason why I need this blog to be anonymous. How can an African daughter publish a blog about being high?! The elders are so terrified of drugs, so weed is a big no. Drugs are one of the worst things on their list of bad things and there’s no point of explaining why one drug isn’t as bad as another. You can’t argue with an aunty, uncle, or parent’s emotional beliefs.
Here’s a list of a few things that the elders think are bad. It goes from least worst to worst worst. Intentionally ridiculous, but sort of true. Ya’ll should tell me yours in the comments.
Least worst
Rolling eyes
Swearing
Not spending a holiday at home
Not spending New Years at home or in church
Your spouse cheating
You talking back
Pre-marital sex
Non monogamous pre-marital sex
Unplanned pregnancy (24 and under/graduate degree and under)
Emotional vulnerability
Nontraditional piercings
Tattoos
Drop out of school
Drugs
Not getting married and having kids
Worst-worst
