Delighted to be high right now
I’m a couple of shades darker after this weekend and my heart is content. It truly feels like I hadn’t properly gotten sun for years because of this pandemic weirdness.
This month is wrapping up heavy as the US continues its political decline, leaving people dead, devastated, traumatized, triggered, and so on. I hope that you are all able to create healing spaces for yourselves. Do things you like, sleep, sing, dance, scream. Smoke weed. Whatever it is that helps you decompress.
I was lucky enough to spend the weekend with my family and I went home feeling full. We hadn’t had so many people together in the same space for a while and I realized I had been craving that space terribly. We don’t all get along and there is so much fucking mess but when we’re together the love is palpable. It’s thick in the air. It’s sparks. It’s glitter. I say this while feeling bogged down with hard post-family time feelings and having a lot to process and talk to my therapist about. I have a real internal conflict when I’m with family. Parts of me turn rigid, domineering, on the offense and I hate it. The true part of me fights back against this invasion and it’s exhausting. As you can imagine, I came back ready for the edi! (short for edible).
Ouid is a beautiful thing during these turbulent times. I have a hard time saying that as a former tough out the pain kind of gyal. That shit almost broke me.
For this painful month wrap-up, I came home took a nap, had an edible, cooked myself a delicious meal, ate ice cream, worked on my puzzle, listened to music, and wrote. What could be better than that? I stumbled upon a tweet that asked for healing songs by black artists. Here’s the Spotify playlist: